thefaultinourfandoms: fasterfood: “dad i got accepted into harvard!!” “son im very disappointed in u. i did not raise u to be such a nerd”
feefeeri: so i bumped into this kid i used to go to school with 3 years below me down at the train station today and i somehow managed to make him buy me a watermelon from the grocery store but then i took it one step further and convinced him that we needed party hats for both us and the watermelon i’ve barely even spoken to this kid before in my life and he did exactly what i said without...
That awkward moment when you're Tumblin' and your...
theladyserket: “HELLO MOTHER DON’T MIND ME I’M JUST ON GOOGLE.”
guceubcuesu: snoipahkat: the jig is up hide the cocaine
jesusfreakinglucifer: i think everyone has that one phrase that we all use ironically but then after a while it just becomes completely unironic like i used hot diggity once as a joke and now i say it all the time im telling you ironic phrases are like gateway drugs to being openly mocked
the-yolocaust: the-yolocaust: has anyone ever finished a game of monopoly i now know why
fcukharry: if some 12 year old screams in my ear while i’m trying to watch the 1d movie i will knock someone out
itisnotofimport: if you call me by my real name in an ask that’s it we’re friends now you can’t escape me
yeahstyles: gonna tattoo this on my ass
arcanehex: thespookyastabater: a kiss makes ur day but anal sex makes your hole weak Scrolled past this, scrolled right back up, got the joke, screamed